


What Would You Do

by RebelleCrown



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, F/M, Heavy Angst, also some thunder, angsty angst angst angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:28:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25106200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebelleCrown/pseuds/RebelleCrown
Summary: “What would you do if I didn’t come back?”Nesta and Cassian angst.
Relationships: Nesta Archeron/Cassian
Comments: 10
Kudos: 39





	What Would You Do

_“What would you do if I didn’t come back?”_

_Nesta looked into the gray of the rain, the winds that whipped the lightning into forks. Yet she knew he listened; she could hear his breath catch._

_“Come back from where?” It was meant to be casual, but his voice was strangled._

_Lightning flashed, and Nesta counted the seconds until the thunder roared over the horizon. She didn’t dare speak until the echoes ceased._

_“Anything. What would you do if I walked out of this house, out into the rain, and never came back? What would you do if I never returned and you hadn’t known we’d already spoken our last words?”_

_It was an effort not to look at him, an effort not to tear her eyes from the storm that ravaged Velaris. But she knew the look on his face regardless; devastation in his eyes, brow creased in concentration. Lightning flashed again, and he too waited for silence before he gave his answer._

_“I would find you,” he said, his voice raw. “No matter what it took. I would find you.”_

_“I might be dead.”_

_Another pause, this one shorter- but no less intense. “I wouldn’t accept it.”_

_She didn’t have to tell him he was a stubborn ass and that denial wouldn’t help anything. She knew he could hear her saying it regardless, and that those words were merely buying him time to think of a real answer. She could feel pain, real pain, emanating off of him as he fought to envision the situation._

_Her dead body. Her spirit gone, too late to save her. Gone forever._

_“I would find whoever did it,” he said, guttural with a rage she almost didn’t expect, “and tear them to pieces. Repay every bit of pain inflicted - both to you and to me.”_

_Nesta clenched her jaw. Before she could say a word, though, Cassian continued in a much softer tone._

_“I don’t know how to deal with things like that.That sort of... of world-shattering grief. Not in the right way, anyways.” The rustling of wings, and she knew he was leaning on the balcony rail alongside her. “I don’t think I would be able to handle it, in all honesty.”_

_Another flash of lightning, another round of thunder. “So you’d miss me, then.”_

_“More than anything,” he breathed._

_Nesta blinked._

_“You’d find me,” she murmured._

_More of that unbearable silence._

_Then, “But what if you didn’t know I was missing?”_

_She could feel his frown like smoke in the air. “What do you mean?”_

_She breathed out slowly. “What if I was broken - breaking - and nobody could tell? Would you find me? Would you be there for me and let me heal?”_

_She was silly for wanting such things, silly to think they could be true. Nobody had so much as wanted her for a lifetime, let alone wanted to help her - she shouldn’t care for any people at all, him or otherwise. She hated that she did, and hated that she voiced it aloud._

_“I don’t know what you mean,” Cassian said quietly._

_Nesta allowed a rare ghost of a smile, a flash of lightning lighting up the sorrow in her eyes. “I know.”_

A dissonant peal of laughter sounded from behind her, cutlery clashing against plates. She didn’t look back, even as his voice rang out through the room.

She looked beside her, though. Looked to the empty space, soaked with rain, where imaginary wings had rustled moments before. Where imaginary Siphons had glowed and an imaginary voice had comforted.

“What would you do,” she whispered into the rain. Only the thunder answered.


End file.
